Ha ha…and today, we spent our lives AT the beach! =)
There’s nothing like the warmth of the sun bronzing one’s skin while the breezes gently caress…the warm, soft white sand between one’s toes as you frolic on the shore…or the lapping ocean waves surrounding one’s body in a moist embrace…no, there is nothing like a day at the beach and it is where I truly have always felt most at home.
But I began to not like the beach awhile back. Sure, I still liked seeing the beach but I began to not enjoy spending much time there because all I could do it sit…and stare…and watch others enjoying the things that I wished I could do. Many times I felt too weak to try to swim with the currents, or the grinding hip pain held me back. Many times I wanted to run and play games on the sand, but I couldn’t. Sometimes I would begin to dig in the sand and build sandcastles with the kids, but even that brought on pain and I was worse off from it. And taking a stroll along the shore certainly wasn’t going to happen. It seemed that anything I tried…anything I wanted to do ended up producing more pain and making things worse.
So I sat. Each time growing more and more annoyed, more and more frustrated, and more and more unwilling to go to the beach. That which I loved…and that which had always felt like “home” to me…became something that I chose to avoid at most costs. I chose to not place myself in places that brought me more emotional turmoil since I had so much physical turmoil already.
Today, we ventured out. BIG GIRL ME, without any other adults for supervision or help for me this time…nobody else to have to rely on when I needed help up, needed help walking, or needed help watching or running after or playing with my kids. Nope, not today! I DO NOT NEED HELP ANYMORE! Today we spent our day at the beach enjoying each and every second of it…all by ourselves, with me as an independent adult and parent once again. SUCH a truly fulfilling feeling!
Hey…and it’s not a bad thing that in the process I got one kick ass base tan to boot! Yep…I was even BRAVE enough to bare myself in my ‘itsy bitsy bikini! WHO CARES about scars showing!? Not me! ;)
Posted by Kris, in New England on July 4, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Oh YEAH! I hear all THAT! I love the beach – used to walk it as much as I could, which wasn’t much at all. When we went on our cruise at the end of May – I took the longest walk on a beach that I’ve taken in years. Picked up shells and stones to my heart’s content without any pain or limitations!
WOO HOO!